AFRIDIGIDIVA

It’s time to update on the 6 month (plus) relationship of my daughter and her beau. They’re still at it, still doing the dance of uncertainty, learning how to flow. I confess that I am enjoying this voyeurist behavior more than I should. I am living vicariously or reliving my first months with my husband. The parallels are amazing.

There is a rumour that we have adopted him. A great deal of his spare time (I would argue the majority of it) is spent here. He’s handy around the house — hanging pictures, cutting the grass, taking out the trash, making sure that all is well with us.  Today he changed out doorknobs and added locks after he came in from his first day ever in college. We have come to rely on his presence. We miss him when he’s gone. My granddaughter adores him and he’s her “Joffy”. She gets excited when she sees his car parked in front of the house. He’s become a fixture. Caitlin still lights up when she sees him. And of course, they are “just friends”. I have friends and I don’t look at them the way she looks at him. In fact, both of their gazes are just so loving.

They still insist that I don’t write about them on my blog, but I can’t help it. It’s such a nice thing in this sea of drama. Besides it’s my blog and I can pretty much write what I want. At least the last time I checked that’s how it worked.  And I am fond of reminding them that not only can I write about them, but I have art. Yes, tons of pictures, though not as many as I’d like, but photos nonetheless. I prefer to call it documentation. 

We have been fortunate to watch the two of them grow, to come into their own as young adults, to take their places as citizens of this planet.  Now that Caitlin is 18, her focused has changed somewhat. They discuss politics, the future, driving lessons, recipes.  I see them taking shape and becoming a couple, a real couple finishing each other’s sentences, taking each other into consideration and I am pleased.  Hubby is mixed. Afterall, it’s our baby girl that is taking yet another step towards ultimate independence, towards leaving the nest.   He was convinced (and on some levels, is downright adamant) that she will never date, never marry, never leave home.  Will, no doubt, needs our prayers for acceptance right about now. He’s going to bust a gullet at the rate he’s going. 

For once, I’m the practical one. I’ve accepted the inevitable. I’ve made peace with God and I know that I have done everything I can to raise her to be a gloriously intelligent, articulate woman.  The fact that she’s cute as a button doesn’t hurt too.  I think it’s easier for mothers to let go of daughters  than it is for father to do.  I know that Jeff’s mom is having problems letting go of him. And I’m the same with my son.  So we mothers understand what fathers face. Still it’s different for them.  Unfortunately for Jeff, he has been  snared in the net of  Scotland –er  Webb yard.   And hubby is looking him over like Jeff’s trying to get security clearance for the goverment.    Poor Jeff! He’s hanging in there, enduring the skepticism.   

All we can do is raise them, pray for them, cross our fingers and hope for the best.  The rest is up to them.  We have to feel good that we’ve done the best we can and that they will make good choices.  Caitlin and I have worn her dad down a bit.  He’s finally conceded that Jeff might not be so bad afterall. Whew! It only took 8 months!

PEACE!
ADD

I have been glued to my television and cursing my internet connection speed for the past two weeks. Fortunately, everything was in tact so that I could witness history in the making. I have never met Michael Phelps.  And honestly, it was only in the past 10 days or so that I learned of his existence on this planet. And today, I couldn’t have been more proud of him if I had given birth to him.  Spectacular! Superb! I’ve exhausted my incredible list of adjectives.  I was really happy to see the humility that he showed. Three of the 8 races he swam were relays.  He acknowledged that it wasn’t just his doing. He had a little help from his friends.

I love the Olympics. Always have. For as long as I can remember, the Olympics have been my summer guilty pleasure. The sheer number of sports, the countries, the pagentry. All of it.  (Of course, I still wait patiently for the day when shopping and chocolate-tasting are added as sports. I’m in!)  Trampolining is an Olympic sport! It’s like a cross between floor routine in gymnastics and diving. Only there’s no floor or water. i was mesmerized. Who knew? I still don’t understand fencing. I don’t care. I watched anyway.

What I love most is that for 21 days, every four years, I am an American. Not African American, Asian American, French, Irish or Native American. Just an American. And I’m watching OTHER AMERICANS do us proud.  We, Americans, ran, swam, jumped, pitched,threw, dove, golfed, tumbled, fenced, played volleyball, tennis, basketball.  Americans did it. Americans. Beautiful, fantastic wonderful Americans. Oh you should have seen me. You would have thought that they all were my children. I laughed, cried, cheered them on.  We all did.

I was almost inspired to start training for 2012.  Almost.  Godiva chocolates first. Then shopping. Who knows? I might make the team after all.

PEACE!
ADD

Those that know me know that I iron like the dickens when I am agitiated,distressed, mentally blocked, whatever. It’s my release, my therapy. Today was no different. I think I must have ironed everything in the known universe that should have had a crease in it. While I released my frustration on various blends of fabric, I had time to think about all the things that just grate on me. It’s been awhile but I think it’s time I unleashed. It’s just not healthy to absorb all this negativity. At some point I believe while was getting my third can of starch, it occured to me to not focus on the negative. It’s easy to do that. The positive needs emphasis.  Have you been given a stack of lemons? Let’s add tequila and a worm and have a party! 

    This is me and my spouse shortly after we married. I was wearing 3-inch heels.  I haven’t grown taller in the ensuing years and I think I’ve given up hope.  Here in Oklahoma there seems to be a lack of knowledge about our lives and lifestyle, our beliefs and intentions.   I have since discovered that some of the ignorance is prevalent in many places.  We don’t notice that we are from two different ethnicities. That was never an issue -at least we haven’t made it an issue. What was important and remains important is that we love each other unconditionally.  In this age where, divorce is common and long term relationships are an oddity, we stand out.   
So here are a few things that you might not know about us: 

We are Americans, born an raised in major cities in the midwest. We met in college, both seeking a truth, a way to make sense of the “God” question and trying to determine our place in the world, our purpose for being here. Long before there was a physical union, there was an intellectual one.  We have always been best friends, even before we knew each other.  I know, I know! It sounds totally corny, but it doesn’t make it any less true.  I look to Will to protect me, to keep me grounded, to listen to my rants, to understand.  He looks to me to do the same.  

A long time ago, when little girls were taught to dream of husband’s and a life with someone else, I conjured him, brought him forth, made him come alive.  After two failed (miserable failures) marraiges, he walked into my life blocking out the sun. No, seriously, I was sitting in the Quad and he walked up to me, and  when I looked up, he was standing with the sun on his back.  At first, I thought I was in his way, but I looked around and noticed that he had placed himself there as a shield.  He’s been trying to shield me ever since.  We have loved each other long before we knew that we existed.  If there was such a thing as a soul-mate, he would be mine. 

We finish each other’s sentences. Laugh at the same jokes, have the weirdest, quirkiest, dark sense of humor. I couldn’t have chosen better for myself if I had tried. All it took was sitting still and waiting. For what, I don’t know. There were no signs, no omens.  When I stopped looking, he appeared.  Have you found the love of your life, your affair to remember?  Aside from my love of God, this is the love that is unending.

Tell me about yours. I’d love to hear.

PEACE!
ADD

I have been extremely unwell these past few weeks and with this being an election year, this is the perfect time to rant about a couple of the real issues that affect real people in this country. McCain, the rich need another tax break like I need a hole in the head. Obama you shouldn’t have compromised by leaving your church. People need to stop being so darn petty.

Aside from having to take out a second mortgage to fill my car, the major concern I have is health care. I honestly don’t understand how we can claim to be the best, most powerful nation in the world and have people who are dying because of inadequate or nonexistent medical coverage. And if the medical bills don’t kill you, certainly the co-pay for prescriptions will give you the banana peel at the side of your grave.

Since our current administration is so painfully out of touch with us, perhaps the hopefuls will at least listen to our concerns and answer a couple of questions from other than news teams and debate moderators. Here ya go.

How is that we can send 87 BILLION to Iraq and 110 BILLION (that’s almost 200 BILLION for those doing number crunching) and can barely afford health care? There are 295 registered (read LEGAL) people in the United States. If each one of us was given one MILLION dollars, that would still leave 170 BILLION or so to give out to other people. You wanna talk stimulus? Yeah, stimulate me with a cool mil. Also while we’re here, could you please explain the purpose of COBRA? Who, after leaving a job, can afford it? What is the purpose your unemployment benefits are less than the cost of coverage? We haven’t even started on prescriptions (which aren’t covered by COBRA). It’s enough to make you sick.  Many years ago, on a trip abroad, I broke my leg skiing. (That was also the last time I went skiing.) The medical coverage was stellar. I was treated in a state of the art facility.  

I really do love my country. I love what it used to stand for, the patriotism, the idealofy. I feel blessed to have been born here.  But like a marraige, there is some work to be done.  I understand foreign policy and the global village.  We need to work at home, on ourselves first.  

If I were president, I would concentrate my efforts on the homefront.  it’s like dropping a pebble in water. Once it drops, the ripples spread outward.  Charity begins at the end of your fingertips. Start there and radiate.    We can do this!  I have faith. 

The work starts now. Are you ready to join in?

PEACE!
ADD

Science project gone awry is the first thing that I think of when  I pass by my son’s bedroom.  For those with boys over 11, you know what I mean.  I should have been forewarned when he bought a biohazard warning  poster  and put it on his door. The “Enter at your own risk” poster was a dead giveaway. When he was home, he kept the door closed, coming out only for meals and then retreating back into his lair.  The good parenting mother (I”ve read every childcare book ever printed) wanted to give him his space and respect his boundaries. 

There is a smell. Cornchips, Axe, Irish Spring and Febreze.  Dead toes maybe?  Whew!  If you pass by my home and see crime scene tape and the CSI people, don’t panic.  They’re more than likely investigating the smell that has begun emanating from  our boy’s room.  I tried desparately not to embarass him all over the internet, hoping beyond hope that he would put forth more than minimal effort. I failed.  Actually, he called my bluff. I don’t believe that he thought I would actually show the world what his room looks like on any given day.  HA! He has been fooled.  I’ll see your bluff and I’ll raise you a blog post with pictures. Here goes:

  Somewhere underneath this undiscernable mass is a bed.