Posted By Anubia Webb on February 17, 2010
I am woman. Hear me roar. At least you can hear me as long as I’m not in an alleged Islamic country. It is only there, that I am denied the rights set forth for me by God.
In most alleged Islamic countries, I am a shadow. I am indoors, away from the political life, from the happenings in the rest of the world. My culture rules my existence. Medieval customs form my days. I have been told not to question, told that I am mere chattel to be used as a bargaining chip for more power for the men in my family. I might be married off to a man 4 times my age if I am fortunate to be betrothed to one so young. This is the life that I know and I am told it is Islam.
Here in the United States, American Muslim women are devoid of these cultural practices from abroad, making us unacceptable brides for Muslim men. We know our rights as women in Islam and will not be bullied into giving those rights to men. We would not supplant ourselves to please mere men, no matter how sound their argument appeared on the surface.
Here in the United States, we are fortunate to know the difference between Islam as practiced by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and what has been passed from cultural generation to generation. For pointing out the difference, we have been labeled “bad muslimahs”, non-marriageable.
It is a far worse scenario for African American Muslim women. Muslim men would rather marry a non-Muslim crack head, than a woman of substance who knows her rights and practices Islam. She doesn’t have to practice Islam or know anything about it. This habit is an affront to practicing Muslim women all over the world. Our men are too provided and maintain us first, then move on to other women.
We are told that we are too combative, too strong-willed. There are a few of us who give our rights to men. I say give because that is the only way we lose them. How can mere men take away what ALLAH has so freely given? When this is pointed out, men in Islam begin to label us harshly. The Shariah has been twisted to favor men. We have only the hope that ALLAH will set it right.
My grandmother used to say. “Pray for potatoes then get a hoe”. We expect our rights, demand them, march for them, but stop in time to prepare dinner for our husbands and his children. We spend time taking care of the children, educating them, nurturing them, though it is a mercy from us for our family. We are not obligated but made to feel that we are commanded to perform these acts according to ALLAH, the Qur’an and Sunnah. Nothing is further from the truth.
When a woman feeds her family, donates her time and her personal monies to the family, it is considered to be a charity. If these acts that we were performing were obligatory, we would not receive the blessings for doing so as we would be doing what was required. One does not applaud the tenor for clearing his throat. One does receive “baraqah” unless it is beyond what is required. I didn’t make that up. That is what Islam states.
When we spend our time doing for ourselves, we are told that we are selfish, self-centered, not behaving like “good Muslim women”. This is a practice that has kept Muslim women in a collective oppression for centuries. Men have run the show despite evidence that there are women who should handle women’s affairs.
Until we as women, learn what our Islamic obligations are, we will continue to be subjugated by Muslim men and the world around us.
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